Finding Joy and Progress in Every Step Forward

When life threw a curveball at my holiday cheer with unexpected apartment renovations, I learned a valuable lesson in the power of perspective. This episode is a raw and authentic reflection on the importance of gratitude, even when things don't go according to plan. Listen as I recount the ups and downs, sharing how I turned it into an opportunity for personal growth. By adopting a mindset of resilience and rewriting my internal dialogue through journaling, I've discovered a path to a more positive self-concept. This candid conversation sheds light on the crucial role our thoughts and media consumption play in shaping our spirit and actions.

Embarking on the journey of podcasting was no easy feat, but by changing my thoughts and taking intentional action, the path to success became clearer. In this heart-to-heart, I share practical tips for steering your mindset toward progress, from journaling to voice recording, and the significance of a joyful media diet. As we reconvene with our vibrant 'melanin unicorn' community, I extend an invitation to share in the excitement and optimism for what lies ahead. It's a new year brimming with possibilities, and together, we'll celebrate our collective achievements and growth. Join me as we continue to create a space filled with love, safety, and affirmation, reminding each other of our inherent value every step of the way.

Chapters

• 0:00 Changing Your Mindset and Self Concept
• 21:49 Change Your Thoughts, Take Action
• 27:45 Building a Podcast Community

Transcript

Kerry: 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Melanin Unicorn Podcast. I'm your host, kerry, and first let me wish everyone a blessed, abundant and amazing new year, 2024, plus more. That is our intention for this year. So for my current listeners, welcome back. For my new listeners, welcome.

Kerry: 0:28

We have a lot to discuss because I feel like I've been missing an action, and I really wasn't. It was just a lot of stuff going on and I couldn't record. But we'll get into that further as we start our next episode. I look forward to seeing you all, or, better yet, hearing you all. So let's start the show. Here we are in a new year, more in 2024.

Kerry: 1:08

So the last time we had an episode was Thanksgiving, and I dropped a quick one wishing everyone a blessed and safe Thanksgiving. So after that, I was informed that they were going to come into my apartment to do some work and I said, okay, you know, that's fine, because work needed to be done. But then it took way longer than it should have. And let me tell you something I wasn't annoyed, because when you become annoyed or you become aggravated, you, you throw your own self off. And so what I had to do? Because it was chaos, it was some, it was just, it was chaos going on up in here. One of the workers got sick so he was out for like over a week, so that pushed the work back even further. And my apartment, everything was pretty much in the middle of the floor. There was a, there was paint, there were trees, there was tarp, everywhere. I had to have two walls literally like broken Because there was damage. So then you had to take into effect the dust, the plaster and just everything else. Right, but the one thing that I would not do is become frustrated. I didn't get angry, I didn't get upset, I just I just sat in gratitude and thankfulness because, again, the work needed to be done and I knew having that posture of gratitude and thankfulness would really make the transition and everything that was happening in the apartment go smoother. And they kept my spirit intact. Right, because when you are aggravated in, in, in, in, in, in Pidstall and all of those other negative emotions, it really disrupts your spirit, and I didn't want my spirit disrupted Right Now.

Kerry: 4:01

I'm a huge Christmas girl. This was a big deal growing up in my home when we were younger, and so we carry on that tradition now as adults. But because everything was going on in the apartment and with the delays, we couldn't decorate, we couldn't decorate, we couldn't put up the trees, we couldn't replace our mat with our Christmas mat, we couldn't put up the lights. And again, what would or should have aggravated me and pissed me off and make me annoyed? I wasn't, because again, I chose gratitude and I chose thankfulness. So again, in that posture, it kept me in a very beautiful space.

Kerry: 5:07

And I say all of that to say this how you respond to things, because how you respond actually starts in your mind first. So if in your mind you are your pistol, if you're aggravated, you're angry, you're bitter, unforgiving, whatever, whatever that emotion is, it plays itself through your voice, it comes out, it comes out in your actions. I once had an English teacher in high school, mr Neville, god rest his soul. I remember very clearly he telling our class that the way you speak is the way you write. That thing was so powerful to me because if you are angry and upset, or your language maybe there was just a lot of cursing or just negative things just pouring out of your mouth that would reflect in your writing. I take it back. If those things are within you, that will reflect in how you react to people. That reflects in your spirit. So we need to learn and it is a learning process of changing our self concept about ourselves. We must learn to become much more positive, no matter the circumstance, no matter the situation, because it really will affect your outcome. It will affect how you move forward. Now we all say that we want this great life and we want to do this and we want to do that and we want to have this and we want to have that. But until you change your self concept, until you change who you are, until you change how you think, how you feel, how you behave, how you move forward, things will pretty much stay the same for you.

Kerry: 8:21

Journaling is very big for me because when you are writing, you can put pen to paper your thoughts and your feelings and whatever else is going on within your life, right, how you're feeling. And when you see those things, then you can begin to change your story. Then you can begin to write a new story about yourself and about who you are and who you are becoming. And again, this is not something that will happen overnight or a snap of your finger, but change if you want it, if you desire it, it will come. Your concept can change within five days. Your new story can change about yourself within seven days.

Kerry: 9:33

But you have to put the effort forward. You have to change your mind about a lot of things. You have to start ingesting negativity, and the negativity that I'm speaking about is the news, social media, the gossip. Be the just on and on Cycle media cycle that is 24 hours a day, 365 days out of the year. Because what you, what you bring into your spirit, it changes you, right it, it will cause you. If you're already, if you're already battling with things, and then you're ingesting the negativity of social media, all it does is amplify within you what's already there.

Kerry: 10:40

But if you want to change, you have to change what you take in. That means you cannot be consuming the news all day, every day. You can't be, whether it is watching it or reading it. You can't do it. The same thing with social media. If, if your social media is Full of negativity, there is gossiping, there is a maligning, there is just viciousness. You have to, you have to cut that out. Because if you say you want change but you're still ingesting, you're still taking in those things, you're not gonna change and Then you're gonna be bemoaning, saying I don't understand why my situation isn't changing. But that's why because we are not Making the effort to change those things. And you have to change those things in your life if you want to have a new life. You want to have a new story about yourself. So when I say that I have changed my posture, and I have a posture of gratitude, I have a posture of gratefulness, I have a posture of thankfulness. That's what I mean.

Kerry: 12:38

I have also had to to change the things that I was ingesting With, whether it be the news, social media, things that I was reading, because all those things play a big part in how we show up. So, for example, I used to love those crime shows right on the ID channel. You know, I just love them. Any chance I got to watch them, I would watch them just like binge watch and things like that.

Kerry: 13:23

But what started happening and I didn't notice it at first was my subconscious, and then my subconscious Started to form these ideologies within me, basically saying that people can't be trusted, that everybody is suspect and you, you have to be on your guard around people, especially new people, and and the same thing with my dating you know, everybody, every man, was a suspect, and it was because of what I was watching and, unbeknownst to me, those, those ideologies were forming in my mind and I had to just like snap out of it. One day I Said, oh no, we can't, we can't watch this, this, this anymore, because you have literally like Built a Fort Knox around you of people, because you're watching everybody, right, everybody is a suspect. Now, that's not to say that you don't watch People. That's not to say that you don't taking your surroundings, and that is not to say that If you get that feeling in your gut or, for me, the Holy Spirit and those warning bells are going off, then you get out of dodge. I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about, again, the things that we Ingest, we the things that we take in, and so I had to stop watching things like that.

Kerry: 15:41

And so then I had to curate my watching, things that I was watching, things that made me happy, things that brought me joy, things that made me laugh. The same thing with social media, things that made me happy, things that bring me joy. The same thing with reading. The very same thing, things that make me happy, things that bring me joy. And so the curation was key. The curation was the beginning. The second thing was getting a mindset coach who really helped me to begin to change my mindset, begin to change my story about myself, begin helping me change my self concept about myself. And so that's where the journaling came in, and that's what I mean when your thoughts, if you get them on paper, you can see live and in living color what it is that you are thinking about yourself. Because once you begin to change that, then it becomes more, you become more aware, you become more self aware, and and so then you'll know how to stop the spiraling, this meaning you know how to stop your thoughts from just traveling off into the atmosphere of negativity and of the things that you have within you. So that was really big.

Kerry: 17:44

So during that, that time when I couldn't record, I had to still have joy. I couldn't get pissed off, I couldn't get aggravated. I was using and this is a perfect example. So I was using my podcast. When I first started, I was using Audacity and Audacity worked well. It worked really, really well.

Kerry: 18:22

But then I don't know what happened. I would record and and then it would just start getting wonky. It would make my recordings sound super fast, like I was running, like I was the flash or something, and then I would delete it and start all over and the same thing would be happening, and then the the controls would be jumping and in and fizzling in and out, and then I was on Google trying to find like a solution, because that's what I was using, that's that's what I had, and I and I was just like, well, this is all I have. But then I remember, no, no, sis, that's not all you have. You have another program, adobe Edition, which I never use.

Kerry: 19:22

But because I was so set on trying to keep using Audacity that I was getting frustrated because it just was not working. And so then, instead of the gratitude and the thankfulness, I was becoming pissed off. And then I started thinking again catch your, catch your thoughts. Well, maybe I shouldn't be doing podcasting, maybe this isn't for me, maybe this was a mistake and caught those spiraling thoughts before they can go any further, and said, okay, this is what we're going to do. We are going to learn Adobe Audition and that's the program that we're going to use going forward. Because it makes no sense that I'm struggling trying to get Audacity to work and it's not working. And you know what? Sometimes you have to pivot, and who knows, maybe it was God telling me no, I don't want you to use Audacity anymore. I want you to move over to Adobe Audition, and you're going to learn how to use it, and then that's what you're going to be using going forward to record your podcast. And so that's what I did. I learned how to do how to use Adobe Audition and this is which is what I'm using to record right now, and this is what I'm going to be using moving forward, and that's it. And now, instead of me being agitated and having these thoughts spiral that, oh, maybe this isn't for me, you know, now I'm just like no, this is for you. You are doing what you're supposed to be doing. You are doing what you were doing, what you're called to do, and that's how we're moving. So more in 2024, for not only for myself, but for each and every one of you that is listening, listening to me we're moving forward.

Kerry: 21:49

If we want, if we want great things to happen and to come into our lives, our whole thought process has to change. If we, if we are looking for, if we are claiming abundance, if we are claiming blessings, if we are claiming, you know, promotions, if we are claiming that we are going to rise to the top, we have to change our thoughts. That starts first. Changing your thoughts starts first. That's what we have to do, first and foremost. Start journaling. If you don't want to write, start making voice recordings on your phone, both smartphones, android and Apple. They have a video recorder. You can start just recording Again. That's that. So you have the journaling, you have the voice recording. Create your social media.

Kerry: 23:08

Start watching videos or reading posts that are positive and uplifting and that are a blessing to you. Again, things that you're watching on TV. Curate your viewing experience. Start watching things that make you happy, bring you joy. You will start to see the change within you and then you will start. You will begin to repel those things that once had you feeling negative, those things that once had you spiraling. Change and curate your viewing experience and your reading experience. That's another thing. What are you reading If you're not reading? Things that are uplifting and positive? Change your reading experience. Ask people about books that are uplifting, books that are a blessing. Hop on Goodreads. There are plenty of people that are on Goodreads and they suggest great books, and so you could start there. You know, also, if there's things that you want to do this year, start making strides to do it and perfect. Don't strive for that, don't strive for perfection, just start.

Kerry: 25:07

I delayed starting a podcast If you've heard the first few episodes, how I just didn't think that I had what it took to even do a podcast. Who would want to listen to me? Who would want to just subscribe or follow me? And I had to. Again those spiral of thoughts. I had to put that aside.

Kerry: 25:37

Then, in recording a podcast, sometimes you would hear noise. You would hear cars going by, because I have a great big window that faces the front of my bedroom and so you would hear the cars. So I got this bright idea At least I thought I thought it was a bright idea oh, I'll record late in the night, I'll record around 12, one o'clock in the morning. That did not work because those cars were still going by and it's a pretty quiet street, but you would have the motor cars going by and making all of this noise and then I would stop and then I would start to record and then I was just wasting time. Wasting time because I'm trying to be perfect and I was just like no.

Kerry: 26:34

So what I did do was I rearranged my desk and pushed it away from the window up against the wall and then you can hear it makes the outside noise less prominent. So I was just like figure it out. You got to pivot, you got to make changes, you got to just move and do what needs to be done. Think and then do, and that's it. And that's what I did. I rearranged, changed and moved forward. And that's what I'm calling you to do Rearrange, change, move forward, rearrange, change, move forward. That's the call. That's the call More in 2024. That's what we're doing.

Kerry: 27:45

And, on that note, thank you for receiving me back. It's great to be back, it's great to be amongst the community, and I look forward to more recordings. I look forward to more people tuning in, I look forward to just building this podcast and welcoming more melanin unicorns, because that's what we are, that's who we are. And on that note, I'm going to end right here and I want to wish again everyone an abundant, blessed and amazing new year. This is going to be your year.

Kerry: 28:46

This is going to be your year, this is going to be my year when we take off into the stratosphere of greatness and I look forward to you sharing your stories with me, just how amazing you're doing, and I look forward to sharing my story, my stories, with you on how amazing I'm doing. So, on that note, I will bid you adieu and I will see you on the next episode. Have a great day, wherever you are, be safe, and remember you are loved, you are kind, you are amazing, you are an uplifter, you are beautiful and you are loving, and you are safe. Have a great one, everyone. I'll speak with you soon. Bye.