Staying Your Course

Ever felt like you're juggling a million things and the balls just keep getting thrown at you? Well, you're not alone. Welcome to the Melanin Unicorn Podcast, where this week, I, Kerry, become your guide through the storm of life's challenges. We tackle the critical theme of perseverance, peeling back the layers on what it truly means to 'Stay the Course'. Our conversation is a deep dive into the necessity of self-prioritization, the art of refilling your own cup, and the empowerment that comes from learning to say 'no'. It's not selfish to put yourself first; it's essential for powering through towards your aspirations unapologetically. 

Wrapping up this empowering session, we pause to extend a heartfelt thank you. Your unwavering support fuels this journey, and as we look ahead, get ready for our next episode's Black Woman moment—a segment dedicated to inspiring and affirming your unique strength and beauty. Keep the love, excellence, and individuality affirmations we shared close to your heart, and let them be the wind beneath your wings until we meet again. Don't forget to connect with us on social media and check the show notes for all the golden nuggets from today's episode. Stay strong, stay focused, and keep shining like the melanin unicorns you are!

Chapters

• 0:00 Staying the Course
• 21:31 Empowerment and Gratitude for Listeners

Transcript

Kerry: 0:00

Hello and welcome to the Melanin Unicorn Podcast, a weekly podcast that is dedicated to the empowerment and upliftment of black women. If you are feeling stuck, I am going to help you get unstuck, so you will no longer want to sit on the side of the road, but instead get up and start running towards your dreams and goals in life. Plus, we are going to hold each other accountable. My name is Kerry and you are listening to the Melanin Unicorn Podcast. Let's start the show. Welcome back everyone.

Kerry: 0:47

We have a new and exciting episode today and I'm so glad to be able to really get into this topic. And if I'm sounding a little congested, it is because I am on the tail end of a cold. That's why there was no episode last week, because I felt like I was battling for my life. I don't know what happened. I am someone who is always masked up Lysol spray, lysol wipes, and I still wind up getting taken down. So listen, it happens to the best of us. So if you hear me pause to take a sip of water, it is because there's still a little dryness and there's still a little cough. But, like I said, I'm on the tail end of this cold, praise God. So we are going to start this episode, so today's episode is called Stay the Course. So stay the course means keep going strong till the end, pursue to the end, To continue doing something until it is finished or until you achieve something you have planned to do Dictionarycom, okay. So let's just get right into it. Staying the course is not easy, and all depending on what the course is, you'll find yourself maybe starting and stopping, or your start and you just keep going until you cross the finish line. But because staying the course isn't always easy, we become distracted, right. So at times, our mind wanders or we remember that there's a thousand and one things we need to do which could actually wait. That is procrastination, okay. And if you want to accomplish your goals, whatever they may be, we have to learn how to focus, and I understand that it is very hard in a world that is loud, chaotic and frantic. Take outside of my window, for example, because it goes from place to place in a matter of seconds. So how do we learn how to stay the course? Well, let's get into it.

Kerry: 4:00

Here is a quote from Gabrielle Union. She said if you prioritize yourself, you are going to save yourself. Let me tell you something that is powerful, especially because us women, we have a very hard time prioritizing ourselves. Some of us are married, some of us have children, some of us have demanding careers, some of us are running our own businesses. So it's hard, when you're competing against all of that, to try to prioritize yourself Because, in our minds, prioritizing ourselves means we're being selfish and in actuality it means that you're being self list, that you are coming first. So in staying the course, we need to learn how to put ourselves first. So, again, like I said, putting yourself first does not mean you are selfish. It means that you deem you as a priority.

Kerry: 5:26

And again, the reason why many of us don't stay this course is because, once again, we put everybody else in front of us and by the time we come back around to ourselves, our course has been derailed. And it's derailed because we're exhausted, we are angry, because we feel like, oh, I should have done this, I should have done that. We become resentful, we become bitter and we have to learn we have to learn how to put ourselves first and that it is detrimental to everything else around us if we do not put ourselves first. So you have to learn to fill your own cup. Right, I have to learn to fill my own cup, and which? I am learning that? Because oftentimes we make the mistake of looking for other people to fill our cup and we are steady, pouring, pouring, pouring, pouring, pouring for others. We are not refilling our own cup. So if your cup is empty, then you have nothing to give to yourself. Your course has derailed itself. Learn to pour back into yourself. It is a must. It is a must. It is a must Right For your sanity, for your health, for your wealth, for your abundance, for your prosperity. You must learn how to pour into yourself. You must learn how to fill your cup until it overflows, because let me tell you something, the full cup is for you, the overflow is for everyone else.

Kerry: 7:38

Okay, you must learn how to block out all of the unnecessary noise. This will help us concentrate and stay on par with ourselves. Again, the world is a very loud place, right. There's loudness everywhere. There's loudness in our homes, there's loudness on our jobs, there's loudness. Even, again, if you're an entrepreneur, there is loudness. We have to learn to block out all of the unnecessary noise, because a lot of this noise is unnecessary and when it's unnecessary, it's chaotic and it's a mess. So we must learn how to block out all of the unnecessary noise. It's doubly, doubly important.

Kerry: 8:40

You must and let me repeat this you must learn how to say no. You must learn how to say no. Stop saying yes to everything, because everything does not need a yes to Learn to say no. You're saying yes to things that you know in your heart is not going to keep you on the course that you are on. Learn to say no and shut it down with finality. And it's okay, because guess what? The person that's on the other side of you saying no, they're going to be all right, they will survive, okay. When you don't stay that course, let me tell you something that resentment and bitterness will creep in like a thief in the night, because you have a course that you have for yourself, meaning you have your dreams and you have your goals that you have for yourself. So staying that course helps you reach your dreams, helps you reach your goals.

Kerry: 10:16

When you derail, as I said before, and you allow other things to come in to your circle, should not be there why people are off doing whatever, living their lives and you are not living your life, living your dreams and your goals. You become resentful because you're looking around and you're saying, oh, everybody's off doing their own thing. And here I am, you know struggling. You know trying to make it. People are just poo-pooing on what I'm trying to do. So first remove the word from your vocabulary struggling, because when you're struggling, going towards our dreams and goals, we're doing it. We're doing it In the name of Jesus. We are doing it. But again, no means no. If someone asks you to do something and you clearly see that it will take you off your course, the answer is no. No. I'm sorry, I cannot do this because I am working on my own stuff. I'm working on my own things, period.

Kerry: 11:48

Staying that course is for you and not for anyone else. When you stay that course for you, you hit a hundred. You hit it straight out of the park because you know what your goals look like. You know what that in-game looks like for you. Your in-game may be, you know what. I'm starting my own business and, yes, I may be working a nine to five. You use that nine to five to fund your business. You use that nine to five to fund your companies, because after a while, once your company takes off, it's time for you to take off. You can't get caught up with this nine to five that you know it's time for you to leave because your company has taken off and you need to be 100% focused on building your brand, on building your empire. Stay the course and remember it takes time, right.

Kerry: 13:14

If you've always started something and never finished it, give yourself grace, be kind and gentle with yourself, focus and begin again Right. So that's what that means, because many of us have started something and we didn't finish it Right. Or we say, oh, I'm going to do this Right, and it starts off hot. You know, you come in hot and then you fizzle out. Don't take that as a failure. Take that as okay.

Kerry: 14:04

Maybe that what you were trying to do isn't what drives you. Maybe you wanted to do something because you see everyone else doing it and that's fine. But if that is not for you, then you're going to just like drop it and say, oh, you know, I don't know, I it started off great, and then I just like lost interest. Do yourself a favor and make sure that whatever it is that you are doing, that is what you should be doing and not because everyone else is doing it, and that's what I mean about. Just the world is noisy, you know, because we see these, we see these people and they and they get these really great results X, y and Z and then you want to get on that bandwagon too, but then you see that, oh, it's not going the way for me, like I see is going for everyone else. That's because that is not for you, and that's okay. Okay, and so, again, it's about giving yourself grace, being kind and gentle with yourself, focus and begin again.

Kerry: 15:42

Okay, this is a great time to get out your notebook and start writing down ideas and seeing, and in writing them down, you're doing a brain dump, right? You don't have to be specific. You do not have to be specific. Just get everything on paper and then start to go through it and see which one causes your heart to race, right? So the, the things that you have written down and the ones that you and you're reading over and there are certain things that are causing your heart to race those things are going to help you stay your course. Trust me when I tell you you will stay your course and you will be locked in, and then you will start to expand and grow these ideas and they will, in turn, turn into your business.

Kerry: 16:48

Okay, and remember, this is about you, right? It's not about anybody else. This is about you. You have your own dreams and goals that aren't about other people. Do not allow anyone to give you for wanting to pursue your passions by trying to call you selfish. Let it roll off your back like water. Just let it roll off. Being selfish for yourself allows you to grow, because we're in the season of growth. Remember, this is it's more in 2024.

Kerry: 17:35

Okay, do not broadcast what you are doing. Journal it and do the work to make things happen for you. Because let me tell you what I've learned when you broadcast and when I say broadcast, I don't mean you know like, oh, you know like you're bragging or whatever. Or you know you get my gist of what I'm saying. Because let me tell you something you got dream killers out there. They will pretend like they are with you when in reality, they are against you and they will do whatever it takes on their part to sabotage your dreams. So be very careful.

Kerry: 18:30

Move in silence. That's my motto. Move in silence and you don't owe anybody an explanation. You really don't as to why you're putting yourself first and staying the course. You don't owe nobody an explanation, but yourself. Period, point blank, bottom line. If they have a problem with that, remember that's their problem and not yours. So you stay the course and you keep your eyes forward and you keep working on your dreams and your goals. Okay, because I believe in you. I believe in you, queen, and I love you, my sisters.

Kerry: 19:19

Okay, and as I get ready to close out this episode, I want to leave you with this quote from Rihanna, aka Bad Gal Riri, and she said the minute you learn to love yourself, you won't want to be anyone else. So when you are loving on yourself, you will stay in your course. You are working on your dreams and your goals, bringing them into reality. You won't want to be anybody else but you, queen. You won't want to be anybody else but you. Okay, you got this, you got this, and I believe in you, and just like I believe in me. Okay.

Kerry: 20:38

So our inspiring quote for today comes from Angela Yvonne Davis, born 1944. She is an advocate for prisoners' rights. She is a founding member of Critical Resistance, a national organization dedicated to abolishing the prison industrial complex. She writes and lectures on social injustice, social movements and the intersections of race, gender and class. And here is what Ms Davis had to say I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept.

Kerry: 21:31

Let me say that again I am no longer accepting the things I cannot change. I am changing the things I cannot accept. And that is for you, queen. That is for you. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you so much. I am so very, very grateful and appreciative for each and every one of you for downloading this episode and listening and show notes will be available on Buzzsprout. You can follow the show on Instagram at the Melanin Unicorn podcast and I will see everyone next week for our Black Woman moment. And remember you are loved, you are excellent, you are beautiful, you are well, you are safe and, most importantly, you are you. I will talk with you soon. Be safe wherever you are.