The Melanin Unicorn Podcast
Welcome to the Melanin Unicorn podcast. A dynamic and thought-provoking show that will take us all on a journey of exploration, inspiration, and enlightenment. I am dedicated to celebrating Black women's power, resilience, and unapologetic brilliance.
The Melanin Unicorn Podcast
I Used to Have Designer Luggage Filled With Baggage
What if the stories you replay are quietly stealing the best parts of today? We’re talking about the weight of the past—how even “designer luggage” can look good from the outside while draining energy, clarity, and joy. Together, we name why we get stuck, how rumination masquerades as problem-solving, and what it really takes to shift from revisiting old scenes to authoring the next chapter.
We unpack the mind’s pull toward familiar pain, the search for closure that may never arrive, and a faith-centered question that resets everything: if freedom has been given, why keep carrying what no longer belongs to you? From there, we move into practical tools you can start immediately. Mindfulness in five minutes to anchor attention in your senses. Gratitude journaling trains your brain toward sufficiency and what is working right now. Forgiveness as self-release—no permission slip for harm, just a decision to stop waiting for an apology before you heal. And small, forward-focused goals that turn intention into motion, whether learning a new skill, deepening relationships, or finally taking the first step toward travel and adventure.
To help you feel the shift, we guide a brief visualization: set down the suitcase, breathe, and step through a door marked “Now.” The past can teach you, but it doesn’t get to define you. Your power lives in the present moment—in the choices you make today. If this conversation lightened your load or gave you a practical next step, share it with someone who needs the reminder, follow us on Instagram at the Melanin Unicorn Podcast, and leave a quick review so more people can find this space. What are you ready to release?
Hey, hey, hey, tribe, and welcome back to the Melanin Unicorn Podcast. The podcast where we as black women explore ways to live more intentionally, fully, and joyfully. I'm your host, Kerry, and today we're diving into a topic that so many of us wrestle with, and that is letting go of the past so we can truly embrace the gift of the present. Let's start the show. The weights of our past. How often do you find yourself replaying old memories? Maybe it's that mistake you made years ago, a relationship that didn't work out, or even a chapter of your life that you just can't seem to move on from. It's like carrying around a heavy suitcase filled with regrets, nostalgia, or unresolved emotions. But here is the thing: the past is over, it's done. And no amount of revisiting it can change what happened, and holding on to it doesn't serve you, it only drains your energy and keeps you from seeing the beauty of what's right in front of you. Take a moment right now. Ask yourself what are you holding on to from the past that no longer serves you. And it's a heavy, heavy, heavy load to carry. Because why was I carrying all of that around? Anyway, was it because in my mind I thought that I could go back and change what happened, what occurred. Maybe I can change the person or persons. Maybe they'll come to their senses and realize that they were wrong and I was right. And now we can move forward. It was time-consuming. It caused me to live in the past and not see what was in front of me, not embracing the every day that I opened my eyes was a gift and a new day for something exciting and new. But instead, I was in that past. And let me tell you something. All of my luggage were designer. But it was exhausting and mentally draining. And it was also draining my life. And one day, one day, the Lord asked me a very simple thing. Why are you constantly carrying around things that I have released you from? I've set you free from those things. So why are you holding on to it? Is it that you believe that I made a mistake? And that really stumped me. It shocked me. It made me say, okay, Lord, enough is enough. Enough is enough. I am starting to get it now. I am understanding. Because he could not take me where he wanted to take me because I was too busy looking behind me instead of in front of me. So the question is, why do we get stuck? So let's talk about getting stuck in the past for many of us. Often it is because of unresolved emotions. Maybe we didn't get the closure that we wanted. Or maybe we've attached our identity to that version of ourselves. Oh my goodness. It's familiar. And sometimes familiarity feels safer than stepping into the unknown. Another reason our minds are wired to find patterns and meaning. Sometimes revisiting the past feels like we are trying to make sense of it all. Trying to rewrite the ending, even if it's only in our minds. But again, here's the truth: the story has already been written, and the only thing you have control over now is the next chapter. So let's shift our focus to that. Tomorrow is a mystery, and today is a gift. That's why it's called the present. When we live in the past, we miss out on the richness of what's happening here and now. Imagine you're walking through a beautiful garden. And if you're like me, you love the botanical gardens. But instead of looking at the flowers and feeling the sunshine, you're staring at an old photograph of another garden you visited years ago. You are missing out on the real beauty in front of you. So, how do we start living in the present? Well, we can start by practicing mindfulness. So you can spend five minutes each day just simply observing your surroundings. Notice the colors, sounds, and sensations. It's a small habit that can ground you in the present moment. Gratitude journaling. This is one of my favorites. Each evening, write down three things you're grateful for. This trains your brain to focus on the good things happening right now. Release through forgiveness. If you are holding on to anger or resentment, consider this. Forgiving doesn't mean condoning what happened. It means freeing yourself from the hold it has on you. Set small, forward-focused goals. Give yourself something to look forward to, whether it's a hobby, a new skill, or simply spending time with loved ones. So practicing mindfulness. When you wake up in the morning and you open up your eyes, start saying thank you. Oh, I'm so grateful to see a brand new day. That gratitude journaling is the truth. Because when you begin to write down the things that you are grateful for, let me tell you what will stop happening. You will no longer focus on the things that you don't have at the moment because you are too busy being grateful for the things that you have. Releasing forgiveness. Remember, forgiveness is not for the other person, the forgiveness is for you. Because when we forgive, we release the person. And I'm not saying that you'll forget what happened to you. No, I'm not saying that. Because honestly, that's always going to be there. But when you release the person through forgiveness, you are essentially setting your own self free. Because when we forgive them, right, your forgiveness should not be predicated on the fact that they are going to come to you and apologize. No, because sometimes you'll never get the apology. And that's why forgiveness sets you free because now you are no longer waiting around for that person to come to you and say, Oh, please forgive me for what I've done. Setting small goals for yourself. That new hobby, the new skill, spending time with loved ones or spending time with yourself is so key. Is it something that you've always wanted to learn or is it something that you've always wanted to do? Write those things down and then start making a plan of action to get to do those things, to learn those new hobbies, to learn those new skills. Have you always wanted to travel? Do you have your passport? And if not, fill out the passport application online, download it, make the appointment to take your paperwork in, and then get ready for your new passport to be arriving in the mail within the next couple of weeks. So let's do a visualization together. If you are in a safe space, close your eyes, take a deep breath in, hold for four, and exhale. Now imagine setting down that heavy suitcase of the past. Picture yourself walking forward, feeling lighter with every step. In front of you is a door, and when you open it, you see the present moment filled with all kinds of possibilities, joy, and peace. Let's take another deep breath. Oh, for four and open your eyes. How did that feel? The past does have lessons, but it doesn't have to define you. Your power lies in the present moment, in the choices you are making today. So begin to release and let go of weight, stepping into the now, and embracing the gift of living fully. Thank you so much for spending this time with me. And if you found this episode helpful, please share it with someone who might need this reminder. Also, you can follow me on Instagram at the Melanin Unicorn Podcast. I would love to hear from you. And as always, take care of yourself and stay present. And remember, have the most amazing, remarkable, and magical day because that is what you deserve. I love you, and I will see you in the next episode. Take care. Bye.
