The Melanin Unicorn Podcast

What’s For You Will Not Miss You

• Kerry • Season 2 • Episode 13

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Stuck in the loop of “everyone else is ahead” while your plans stall? We get candid about the mantra that pulls us back to center: what’s for you will not miss you. Together we unpack how to trust timing, quiet the comparison trap, and move with purpose even when progress feels slow.

We start by defining the heart of the phrase—alignment, faith, and the belief that purpose arrives on time—even if it doesn’t look like the picture in your head. From there we break down how doom scrolling fuels self-doubt, why curated feeds distort reality, and how harsh self-talk can sabotage momentum. We bring real-life proof that delayed dreams still bloom, including stories of career pivots, long-haul goals, and the truth that arrival isn’t a finale but a new beginning.

You’ll learn four simple practices to restore confidence and consistency: focus on the process rather than the outcome, use daily gratitude to expand perspective, release rigid timelines so delay doesn’t become despair, and separate your worth from speed and checkboxes. We close with actionable steps to curate your inputs, protect your energy, and write a mantra you’ll actually live by. If a door stays closed, we won’t spiral; we’ll pivot with clarity, trust the rhythm, and keep building the life that fits.

If this message lands, share it with someone who needs it, subscribe for more grounded conversations, and leave a review to help others find the show. Tell us: which practice are you trying first?

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Kerry:

Hey, hey, hey tribe, and welcome back to another episode of the Melanin Unicorn Podcast. The podcast where we as black women dive deep into life's lessons, epiphanies, and little whispers of wisdom that shape our journeys. I'm your host, Kerry, and today we're talking about something that I think hits home for many of us. And that is the idea of what's for you will not miss you. You probably heard that phrase before, right? Maybe it was in a moment when things didn't go as planned, or when you were waiting for something, an opportunity, a relationship, a breakthrough. And someone said it as a way to comfort you, but what does it really mean? And how can we hold on to this belief when life feels messy and uncertain? Well, let's dive into this episode. Let's talk about the wisdom that is behind this particular phrase. Let's unpack it. What's for you will not miss you. It's about trusting and timing, alignment, and a deeper sense of purpose. It's rooted in the idea that what's truly meant for you, whether that's a career path, a person, or a life experience, will come to you in the right moment. In the right way. Even if it doesn't look exactly how you imagined it. But here's the thing. Trusting that isn't always easy, is it? Especially when you are doom scrolling on social media. And it feels like everyone else's life is on fast forward while yours is stuck on pause. We've all been there. We've all been there. Maybe it's the job you didn't get. Or the relationship that didn't work out. It's hard to trust that something is better around the corner when you're sitting in the middle of disappointment and despair. But that's exactly what makes this phrase so powerful because it's a reminder to lean into faith, patience, and belief that God got you, or whatever you believe in, is actually working in your favor. It may be your own reality. I know it has been my reality. I look at my friends who, in the natural, they have been written off, but they have overcome insurmountable odds to come out on the other side as winners, powerful, powerful women in their own right, whether it's in a particular career field or a changing of their careers. You can't count a person out, nor can you count yourself out. Even if it may take you a little longer than the person next to you to get to that destination. And when you arrive at that destination, that should not even be your quote unquote your finale. You are to keep moving even past once you've landed on your destination. I've mentioned in a previous episode that I have a friend who graduated from law school. It took her a while to do that. Two children, twins, you know, she's married, and you know, her and her husband, they have to do what they have to do for their family. So sometimes those dreams are put on hold. But they're not a denial, it just means that at that particular moment, it is not the time. But the time still will arrive. So a dream that is deferred does not mean that it will not make its way into your reality. And if I can be even more like clear, stop doom scrolling. Because many, many of us, including myself, and I've had to snap out of it, you are looking at other people's pages and and their posts, and you're saying, Oh my gosh, they have it sewed together, right? But meanwhile, now you're looking at your own life with a magnifying glass, and you're saying to yourself, I have achieved nothing, I am a failure. It's taking me too long to get to what I want, what I have desired, what I have prayed in my heart for, it's never gonna happen for me. And you are absolutely right. When you take on that type of attitude, when you use your mouth to speak death over your dreams and your purposes, they're not gonna come to pass. So, my advice to you is to stop looking at what other people are posting because 95% of the time they have curated their fee to make it look as if everything is all together. And that 95%, it is not together. It is the way they filmed it, they edit it, and they put it out there. And so now it leaves other people who are looking at their social media pages thinking like, oh, look, see, they have all of this stuff, even more so than me. Meaning um, it may be some obstacles in their life, but they were able to achieve that. Number one, you don't know what is going on in their life. Number two, you don't know what they've actually had to overcome. And number three, this may actually be the fruit of their labor that they did away from social media. And I would say that that's the 5%, but the 95%, their lives are just made up, you know, and so and you have to also remember too that social media is a money game. So the more hits you get to your to your page or your post, the the more money um that you will be able to receive. So also, also, also, please keep that in mind. And also stop the doom scrolling and work on what you are supposed to be working on and not being concerned with or what this person got going on, because that's what I that's what I have seen on their social media. Just my two cents. And how do we start believing that what's for us will not miss us? Here are a few ideas that I have. Focus on the process, not just the outcome. When we are so fixated on the end result, we can miss the beauty of the journey. Remember, every step, even the ones that feel like setbacks, is teaching you something and preparing you for what is next. Number two, practicing gratitude. Even when things don't go your way, there's always something to be grateful for. Gratitude will always shift our perspective and opens our heart to new possibilities. Number three, let go of the timeline. And I know this is a hard one, but sometimes we are so attached to our own timeline that we forget life has its own rhythm. Trust that things will unfold exactly when they are meant to. And lastly, remember this. I would even say this is number four. Your worth, my worth, is not determined by how quickly we achieve something, or by how many boxes we've checked off. You are enough. Right here, right now, you are enough. So let's recap. Number one, focusing on the process, not just the outcome. This trips a lot of us up, and we miss the moment. Please don't let that be you. Number two, practicing gratitude. I've said in a previous episode when you wake up in the morning that the first things that leave your lips is thank you. Thank you, God, for waking me up to see another day. And I don't care if it's raining, snowing, sleeting, or whatever, thank you for waking me up to see this beautiful, beautiful morning. Gratitude will take you a long way. And gratitude changes the chemical makeup in your body. Okay. Number three, let go of the timeline. We are so focused on a timeline. We we will say January 2025, it starts here. December 2025, boom, I've I've reached my goal. I've reached the I've reached my end goal. And you know what? And don't get me wrong, that may very well be your thing. That may very well happen for you. But also keep in mind that even if it goes past the date, the month and the year that you have written down, it's still okay. It does not negate or take away the fact that you will not reach your goals, you will not miss what is for you. Okay, and then again, please remember your worth is not determined by how quickly you achieve something. Okay, or checking off all of these boxes. Please stop that. Please, because what will happen is you will look at your list and just say that there are no boxes checked off. Now you're you are literally freaking out, and you're just going in on yourself saying, Oh, you see, I've got nothing done, nothing has been achieved, I'm still behind the eight ball, and then you you start spiraling, you start crashing out. If you want to do check boxes, that's cool, but don't beat up on yourself if you don't have those boxes that you believe you should have checked off. Done. It's okay. As we wrap up today's episode, I want you to take a deep breath and let those words settle. What's for you will not miss you. Maybe you write it down somewhere, maybe you say it to yourself the next time doubt creeps in. Whatever you are waiting for, whatever you're working toward, trust that it's on its way. And if it doesn't come, maybe it wasn't meant to be. Maybe there's something even better waiting for you. And that's even more exciting to think about. Right? Thank you for joining me today. If this episode resonated with you, please share it with someone who might need a little reminder to trust the process. And don't forget to subscribe. You can leave a review, you can follow me on my Instagram page at the Melanin Unicorn Podcast. I'd love to hear your thoughts and your stories. Until next time, take care of yourself, and remember, life always has a way of working itself out. Have the most amazing day. Make it marvelous and magical because that is the day that you deserve. I love you, and I will see you in our next episode. Take care. Bye.

Contributor

Kerry

Host