The Melanin Unicorn Podcast

When God Closes Doors To Protect Your Purpose

• Kerry • Season 2 • Episode 16

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What if the goodbye that shattered you was the very thing that saved you? We open a tender conversation about how God sometimes protects our purpose by closing doors we were too afraid to shut. From friendships that dimmed our light to romances that capped our growth, we trace the quiet signs of separation we often ignore, and we talk about how gratitude can coexist with grief without drifting into toxic positivity.

Together we name the hard truth: letting go is not petty, it’s prophetic. We unpack boundaries that honor both love and honesty, including the courage to love some family from a distance. We explore how reclaiming worth and voice can unsettle old dynamics, why misalignment resists your healing, and how Psalm 34:18 anchors us when heartbreak is loud. You’ll hear practical prompts for journaling through loss, a framework for not repeating old lessons with new people, and a reframing of “subtraction” as divine strategy that makes room for healthier friendships, stronger love, and deeper intimacy with God.

By the end, you’ll have language for the ache, permission to mourn without shame, and a simple practice for thanking God not only for what He gave but also for what He removed. If your spirit knows it’s time to release, this conversation offers clarity, courage, and calm. Listen, share it with a sister who needs it, and if it speaks to you, subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what door are you finally letting close?

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Kerry:

Hey, hey, hey tribe, and welcome back to the Melanin Unicorn Podcast. A space for black women to do hard work, to do healing, and hearing from God in the still soft and quiet moments. I'm your host, Kerry, and today's episode might touch a tender place. Because we are talking about something we don't always realize until much much later. And that is being thankful for the people God has removed from our lives. I know, I know, I know. It's not always easy to admit that. Sometimes it feels like such a great loss. Sometimes it hurts so deeply that you can feel it in your bones. And other times, we question God's timing, his reasoning, and if he even loves us. But what if I told you some of the greatest blessings come disguised as departures? Let's start the show. I remember the times in my life when I begged God, prayed relentlessly to keep people around. Because I could not imagine my life without them. From friends, relationships, circles that I thought and believed I needed to survive. But praise God for his eye of seeing it all. The beginning, the middle, and the end. Because he saw what I truly could not see. He saw who they were becoming. Right? But looking back now, I see that it was mercy. Because doors needed to be closed for my protection. Connections needed to be broken to set me free. And people needed to exit because they were never meant for the next chapter and chapters of my life. And I know that many of you are going through this very thing right now. And I'm here to tell you from experience that although the hurt will be there, it will soon fade. Because God truly knows what is best for us. And most of the times we think and we believe we know exactly what is best for us. And let me tell you, we do not. Okay? Because when I look back, when I really remember the instances and the interactions, there was already a separation happening. I just was not aware. I couldn't see it. That's the word I'm looking for. I could not see it because I've known these people for a very long time. Um, the romantic relationship or friendships that I was in, you know, I thought that they would last forever, and it would end in marriage and children. And the Lord saw so much better and greater for me that I did not see for myself. And so I am here to encourage you that there is greater for you on the other side of that door. It may not seem like it now, but I'm telling you, it is because when you so desperately hold on to something, and you know deep down in your spirit that you need to release it, you need to let it go because it is not good for you. Correct? And when we don't let go, we block our own blessings. We block God from doing what he wants to do in our life, and not that God couldn't circumvent us and do it anyway, but he is a gentleman and he will not move or take action until we give him permission to do it in our lives. And this is not an accusatory episode, because it is not, it really is something that I need for us to really take into our spirits and understand that God is for us, He is not against us, He is truly for us, He is in the front of us, the back of us, to our left and to our right. But we have to give Him permission, and that means coming into agreement with Him about letting people go, releasing them, because where God is taking you, they cannot go. And that also includes family, believe it or not. There are some family members you can you can still love them, but you will have to love them from a distance because they too cannot go where God is taking you. So be encouraged, my sisters. Be encouraged. When God removes people from our lives, it's really random. And when you again, when you think back, when you look back, you can see the separation starting to begin. If you choose to be honest with yourself, maybe you learned your worth, maybe you realize just how worthy you truly are. Maybe you found your voice. You no longer sit in silence, you no longer remain silent, and once you began to use your voice, you realize that those friends did not like it, they didn't like it one bit because they enjoyed you when you were silent. The same thing with your worth when you start stepping out without them, or you start doing things, and now and now they are looking at you like you have two heads. Oh my sister, you are learning your worth. Maybe now you were beginning to heal, to grow, and to breathe, and those things come when we open up ourselves to God and we invite him in to do those things that we cannot do on our own. Because healing, growing, breathing, these are the supernatural attributes of God. Amen. And maybe, just maybe, their absence has now brought you closer to God's presence. Psalm thirty-four, verse eighteen says, and it reads as such, the Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Sometimes he allows the heartbreak to happen so we can finally hear him whisper again. And again, I encourage you, I encourage you to journal about the loss as well, because heartbreak is a very real thing, and you will never ever hear toxic positivity from me or this podcast because I do not believe in that. I believe that we are to go through the stages of grief because an ending of friendships, relationships, circles, that's that's pain. And that is that is grief. And so we need to go through the grieving period of the ending of those relationships, and God will help us, He will mend our broken hearts, and then he opens up doors for all the things that he has already had for us. So again, be encouraged, my sisters. Be encouraged. Having your gratitude for growth. So here's what I want you to hear today. That it is okay to miss them and still be thankful that they are gone. It's okay to honor the role they played and still release them with peace and blessings. God doesn't just subtract, He is the Redeemer. So He redeems us. He makes space for better alignments in our lives, for stronger friendships, healthier love, and most importantly, a deeper relationship with Him. So today, please take a moment not to dwell on who left, but to thank God for who He's becoming in you, who He's becoming in me because of it. So let's recap our episode today. The first one is learning the gift of goodbye. That is a big thing because many of us, and it's just in our human nature, we don't want to say goodbye, we don't want to let go. But God orchestrates those things in our lives for us to have to say goodbye and for us to have to let go. Number two, again, lessons in loss. Because if you don't, the likelihood of you repeating those lessons, meaning the likelihood of you bringing back people who God delivered you from, but now in new people is a hundred percent greater. So we need to learn our lessons in loss. And third is the gratitude for growth. We must have gratitude in everything, and I know that gratitude and loss for many of us is like oil and water. But when you learn to have gratitude in everything, no matter the situation, no matter the circumstance, everything shifts for you. Because gratitude opens up the door for God to come in, sup with us, and work beautiful and tremendous blessings in our lives. And that is, God isn't cruel, he is very, very wise. If he removed someone from your life, trust and believe that it was absolutely necessary. He's not just editing your story, he is protecting your purpose. Get that. Remember that. Remember that. And if you only come back to this episode just to play that part, remember He is protecting your purpose because each and every one of us has a purpose. God is protective over our purpose, and we need to be protective over our purpose. Thank you, thank you, thank you. And I'm so grateful that you chose to spend this time with me. And if this episode has spoken to you, take a second to pause and thank God. Not just for what he has given you, but also, also, also, also, for what he has removed out of. Your life because I promise you, and I know this: you are so much better for it. I am so much better for the removal. In the beginning, it hurt like hell. I was brokenhearted. But let me tell you something, my sisters. I am so much better for the removal. And please, share this episode with someone who you think would need to hear it. And until next time, stay soft, stay grounded, trust the author of your story. Now you go and have an incredible, remarkable, and magical day because that is what you deserve. I love you, and I will see you in the next episode. Take care. Bye.

Contributor

Kerry

Host